Find a better way to deal with my emotions policy

Deep inside I hurt - I hurt about how I don't feel socially together and that my social life is unbalanced. This may read weird, but it's a deep and complicated pain I feel - masked by laughter.

For 2009, I have to find a better outlet for my pinned up emotions. No one knows I hurt as bad as I do because all they see is a fun loving, positive thinking, happy go lucky woman - don't they see right through my fake smile? Don't they see my tears?

I get completely disappointed only to myself - I never show my true feelings - I'm invisible.

I know....(Socially unstable, mentally unchallenged, emotionally cognizant, sexually amazing, financially unfenced spiritual being totally unbalanced by life at times)...therefore I am.

New Job Policy

Well really not a new job. I've been here now for about two years. Yes, it's been that long since I last wrote. But I changed jobs and everything is so much better. I'm happy.